I vs. Me

I vs. Me I vs. Me I vs. Me By Maeve Maddox Some personal pronouns have two forms, one that is used as the subject of a verb and one that is used as the object of a verb or preposition. Subject forms: I, he, she, we, they My sister and I live in Texas. We raise chickens. (subject forms) Jack and she moved to Paris. They love it there. (subject forms) Object forms: me, him, her, us, them Mary gave me your address. (indirect object of a verb) The neighbors invited my wife and me to dinner. (object of a verb) We met him at the movies. We met her there too. We like them. (objects of a verbs) Jack writes to him every day. We went with them. (objects of prepositions) Presumably, these distinctions are taught to children in school. Supposedly, teachers and other school personnel model this usage to the students. Yet this is what we hear all around us: â€Å"Me and my friends went to Miami.† â€Å"The Governor invited my wife and I to dinner.† Those of us who know and care that I is a subject word and me is an object word react to such usage with feelings–if not cries–of outrage, but they continue. Actors portraying psychologists, FBI agents, and medical examiners declare, â€Å"Me and my colleagues interviewed the suspect.† â€Å"Him and his girlfriend were seen on the balcony.† â€Å"Make a reservation for Megan and I.† Don’t the actors know better even if the scriptwriters are semi-literate? The answer may well be that both actors and scriptwriters â€Å"know better,† but don’t care. They may desire to speak in a nonstandard way to show their freedom from what they regard as stuffy rule-following convention. On the other hand, they may not â€Å"know better.† They may genuinely believe that it’s correct to use Me as a subject and I as an object in a compound, even though they would never use them that way when the subject or object is not a compound. With grammatical constructions–as with Big Lies–if we hear them often enough, they will eventually â€Å"sound right.† Language changes inexorably from generation to generation. Pronouns alter more slowly than any other part of speech, but they do change. English once had three pronoun numbers: singular, dual, and plural. We lost the dual form early on. The singular second person pronoun thou and its forms thee, thy and thine dropped out of popular speech in the 16th century. (The Quakers retained some of the usage.) The second person plural went through some changes before settling on you for both singular and plural. Before you won as the all-purpose second person pronoun, ye was the subject form and you was the object form. The distinction was still being observed in the KJV translation of the Bible, but in popular speech, ye and you were becoming muddled: No doubt but ye are the people, and wisdom shall die with you. 1611 translation of Job 12:2 A southwest wind blow on ye And blister you all over! Shakespeare’s The Tempest, c.1611. As painful as the thought is to those of us who care, the mix-up of me and I in compound subjects and objects may become the norm. What do you think? Is there any way to reverse the trend? Want to improve your English in five minutes a day? Get a subscription and start receiving our writing tips and exercises daily! Keep learning! Browse the Grammar category, check our popular posts, or choose a related post below:Bare or Bear With Me?Cannot or Can Not?Sentence Adverbs

How to Find Your Birth Parent or Child

How to Find Your Birth Parent or Child It is estimated that 2% of the U.S. population, or about 6 million Americans, are adoptees. Including biological parents, adoptive parents, and siblings, this means that 1 in 8 Americans are directly touched by adoption. Surveys show that a large majority of these adoptees and birth parents have, at some point, actively searched for biological parents or children separated by adoption. They search for many different reasons, including medical knowledge, the desire to know more about the individuals life, or a major life event, such as the death of an adoptive parent or the birth of a child. The most common reason given, however, is genetic curiosity - a desire to find what a birth parent or child looks like, their talents, and their personality. Whatever your reasons for deciding to start an adoption search, it is important to realize that it will most likely be a difficult, emotional adventure, full of amazing highs and frustrating lows. Once youre ready to undertake an adoption search, however, these steps will help you get started on the journey. How to Begin an Adoption Search The first objective of an adoption search is to discover the names of the birth parents who gave you up for adoption, or the identity of the child you relinquished. What do you already know? Just like a genealogy search, an adoption search begins with yourself. Write down everything you know about your birth and adoption, from the name of the hospital in which you were born to the agency which handled your adoption.Approach your adoptive parents. The best place to turn next is your adoptive parents. They are the ones most likely to hold possible clues. Write down every bit of information they can provide, no matter how insignificant it may seem. If you feel comfortable, then you can also approach other relatives and family friends with your questions.Collect your information in one place. Gather together all available documents. Ask your adoptive parents or contact the appropriate government official for documents such as an amended birth certificate, petition for adoption, and the final decree of adoption.Medical historyHealth statusCause of and age at deathHeight, weight, eye, hair colorEthnic originsLevel of educationProfessional achievementR eligion Ask for your non-identifying information. Contact the Agency or the State that handled your adoption for your non-identifying information. This non-identifying information will be released to the adoptee, adoptive parents, or birth parents, and may include clues to help you in your adoption search. The amount of information varies depending upon the details that were recorded at the time of the birth and adoption. Each agency, governed by state law and agency policy, releases what is considered appropriate and non-identifying, and may include details on the adoptee, adoptive parents, and birth parents such as: on some occasions, this non-identifying information may also include the parents ages at time of birth, the age and sex of other children, hobbies, general geographical location, and even the reasons for the adoption.Sign up for adoption registries. Register in State and National Reunion Registries, also known as Mutual Consent Registries, which are maintained by the government or private individuals. These registries work by allowing each member of the adoption triad to register, hoping to be matched with someone else who might be searching for them. One of the best is the International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR). Keep your contact information updated and re-search registries on a regular basis. Join an adoption support group or mailing list. Beyond supplying much needed emotional support, adoption support groups can also provide you with information concerning current laws, new search techniques, and up-to-date information. Adoption search angels may also be available to assist with your adoption search.Hire a confidential intermediary. If youre very serious about your adoption search and have the financial resources (there is usually a substantial fee involved), consider petitioning for the services of a Confidential Intermediary (CI). Many states and provinces have instituted intermediary or search and consent systems to allow adoptees and birth parents the ability to contact each other through mutual consent. The CI is given access to the complete court and/or agency file and, using the information contained in it, attempts to locate the individuals. If and when contact is made by the intermediary, the person found is given the option of allowing or refusing contact by t he party searching. The CI then reports the results to the court; if the contact has been refused that ends the matter. If the person located agrees to contact, the court will authorize the CI to give the name and current address of the person sought to the adoptee or birth parent. Check with the state in which your adoption occurred as to the availability of a Confidential Intermediary System. Once youve identified the name and other identifying information on your birth parent or adoptee, your adoption search can be conducted in much the same way as any other search for living people.